My name is Jenny. I am 26 years old and I live in Toronto, Canada. I am starting this blog because I've decided that by writing out my drinking experiences and feelings, they may become more real to me and motivate me to seek help, while reaching out to others in the same prediciment. I have been drinking for about 10 years. Heavily for about 5. I call myself high functioning because I have a good job, an apartment, a dog and a cat who I take well care of, and very supportive friends and family. (Although I have lost friends because of my drinking.) There is a world of me beyond heavy partying, a sad and lonely world that not many people see, where the bottle is my best friend and the only thing that keeps me sane. This blog will be a glimps into that world, what it's like for someone who has a problem and yet has to function in the normal world and pretend they don't. I will write when I am sober, hungover and drinking. I will write when I am happy, sad and numb. Welcome to my hell.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Hi Everybody. I'm sure you are reading this finally. My silent hell of a life. I have spent the night with my friend, deciding, making decisions, and I think I am finally done.

I am sick. My health is failing. I am mentally failing. I think I am done. I love being drunk more than anything in the world but I am not prepared to die. I will not let Paul kill me forever. So....please help me in any way you can. At the state I'm going I will not live to be 30.

I am done.

I am so done.
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