My name is Jenny. I am 26 years old and I live in Toronto, Canada. I am starting this blog because I've decided that by writing out my drinking experiences and feelings, they may become more real to me and motivate me to seek help, while reaching out to others in the same prediciment. I have been drinking for about 10 years. Heavily for about 5. I call myself high functioning because I have a good job, an apartment, a dog and a cat who I take well care of, and very supportive friends and family. (Although I have lost friends because of my drinking.) There is a world of me beyond heavy partying, a sad and lonely world that not many people see, where the bottle is my best friend and the only thing that keeps me sane. This blog will be a glimps into that world, what it's like for someone who has a problem and yet has to function in the normal world and pretend they don't. I will write when I am sober, hungover and drinking. I will write when I am happy, sad and numb. Welcome to my hell.

Friday, March 2, 2007

I'm supposed to drive downtown tonight to go to a club, and it's snowing, and my driving where alcohol is present is usually a bad idea. But maybe I can be good and have a time I actually remember....
Last time I went out with A, I fanagled my way into the VIP section and drank some guys champagn. This was after I was already pretty drunk out of my mind. Apparently I blacked out, went to a chinese restaurant, and everybody thought I was dead. Whatever. I woke up the next morning in my clothes, with my boots, purse and coat sprwled outside of my apartment covered in snow and the contents of my purse spilled down the steps. The door was wide open. I had no recollection of anything past a certain time. I was still drunk. It was horrible. I seriously felt like I had just played a game of russian roullette and had luckily gotten the empty chamber.
So we'll see how it goes tonight. I am a little nervous however....

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Great blog Jenny! It kicks ass!